Five Out: Stay On That Side, MVP Race, and An All-Star Weekend Plea

Chauny gives Andrew a much-needed break and covers a few hot topics in the W before heading to Indianapolis.

When Andrew’s away, Chauny will play. That’s right folks, I’m taking over this week’s Five Out so consider this your formal warning. Viewer’s discretion is advised!

This week’s takeover comes at a perfect time because I actually have some thoughts to get off my chest before Tyler and I put the boots on the ground in Indianapolis for All-Star coverage, so let’s get to it.

STAY ON THAT SIDE PODCAST BROS

Last week we saw the airwaves flooded with apologies from men with microphones who underestimated Angel Reese’s game. Her current heater at the point forward position has everyone rethinking everything they thought they knew…except me. I still think all of them can go to hell.

Let’s start with Jeff Teague and Co. on the whatever it’s called podcast. They acted as though it was some grand revelation that Angel could ball and watched highlights with this low volume awe. Ok, whatever. My problem is you had Charleston White on the show to say some absolutely heinous things about a young woman half his age while everyone just sat around and laughed. Not a single man on that show had the moral fortitude to stop the conversation that was completely off the rails and at least try to redirect. Everyone just denied culpability since technically they weren’t the ones who said it, all they did was laugh. Your apology is trash, stay over there.

Next we have Joe Budden, who I disdainfully refer to as Joseph Burden. His pod had the same epiphany as Jeff Teague’s around the same time and he gave more of a smug approach but somewhat gave her props. Problem is he literally called her a bird. No basketball analysis, pure character slander. Joseph Burden your apology is trash, stay over there.

And finally we have Gilbert Arenas who took a very bold approach and managed to hand out some blame to black women in defense of Angel??? With her NBA 2K cover getting a racist remix which led Robert Griffin III to unnecessarily chime in with lies and unhelpful platitudes, Arenas turned the whole ordeal into “black women were silent because they’re jealous of Angel.” Mind you racism was what the day started with. I really wish WNBA players both past and present would sever ties with this clown.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ALLYSHIP, BUCKWILD?

So while I oppose Gil’s position as well as his overall existence in the media space, it did lead me to wonder; where were all the white allies of the W this week? For the last 18 months I’ve heard about how this was an activist league and how all the white women in it recognize and understand their privilege and are true champions of black women. If this is so, why did I not see a single one stand up on behalf of Angel and tell RGIII to stfu entirely? Especially since the attention of white women is what he craves more than oxygen itself. White women collectively shaming him actually could’ve done some damage and yet it was pretty silent.***

***If I missed something I will retract and apologize.

Could it be because some of them are tacitly encouraging it? Let me explain. During this debacle, NBA Centel posted a fake quote attributed to Caitlin Clark giving a backhanded compliment to Angel about the NBA 2K cover. PAGING SUZANNE BRIGIT BIRD, BRING YA @$$ ON UP TO THE PODIUM!

As my colleague Greer so eloquently wrote in her column on Sue Bird’s assertion that NBA Centel is good for the W, she was dead wrong for a number of reasons, one being because that account was always going to affect black women more than anybody else. Case and point, last week Angel is not only facing racist attacks but Centel stans and victims of the bit as well. Way to ally Suzanne and shout out to Cam Brink for letting it ride uncritically on her podcast. Go allies!

THE MVP RACE IS WIDE OPEN…AND THAT’S GOOD!

Ok so what started as Napheesa Collier’s year has now turned into a wide-open race for the Most Valuable Player award. Phee is still a frontrunner for sure, but you have Alyssa Thomas emerging from the shadows as she does every year like a labrum-less groundhog here to tell us six more weeks of MVP race. Breanna Stewart has had to shoulder a heavier load with Jonquel Jones out, A’ja has had to shoulder an even heavier load with her entire team being out, but somehow still in with her and then you have players on contenders making a case like Atlanta’s Allisha Gray and Seattle’s Skylar Diggins.

The problem is the media set the table to just give it to Phee earlier in the year and that’s letting them off the hook with telling us compelling stories about all of the aforementioned players. The last couple years it feels like the media has kind of made the decision early on so they can just mail it in when it comes time to send the official vote and outside of maybe some Twitter discussions, we don’t see stories being told and I’m tired, grandpa. Please I’m literally begging everyone, get in the booth!

CBA TALKS GOING AS PLANNED

Representatives of the W’s players union said that the initial collective bargaining agreement offer was a slap in the face and to me that sounds about right. Within a capitalist system, it is the job of the wealthy to continue increasing their wealth by exploiting their labor as much as possible. It is the job of the labor to not take that ish lying down. So to my comrades in the struggle, keep fighting. Go unions! But that also leads me to an interesting discussion about how Unrivaled fits into it. I, me, myself, personally, I don’t think there’s a conflict of interest, in fact I think it’s a great bargaining chip to have in your back pocket. Like you know it ain’t nothin to us to strike because we have figured out how to form our own league. Give us our demands, or we’ll be in South Beach hooty-hooing and whatnot. Again, just my perspective on the matter.

STOP WITH THE BROKE ALL-STAR BEHAVIOR

All-Star weekend is like four days away and we still don’t know who’s in the skills competition or the 3-point contest. Next CBA needs to have a clause where a couple dollars are allocated to fly the girlies leading in important statistical categories out for the weekend instead of grabbing whoever gets to the airport first. Stop this broke behavior, Cathy.